And already the resolutions are broken......

So..... (there's that word again)...nearly the end of January 2010 and already I have broken my loosely made resolutions to a new life. I am yet to make it to Dance City to master the art of expressing myself through contemporary dance instead of hyperventilating tears....and already my blog is behind.....rubbish Bunny...just rubbish...hey ho we move on.

I managed to make it out into the real world yesterday and down to the local retail park...the plan being to drop Missy, that's my car.......come on everybody gives their car a name don't they ???? don't they?????, mmmm, drop Missy off at the little afganistani car wash for a lovely clean valet and a fresh coat of winter wax, whilst I took back some oddly shaped clothes to Next, shopped for some lovely black lacey tights and drop into Borders for some gorgeous high brow coffee table glossies that I will look at but never read....oh and pop up stairs to Starbucks for a gigantic Full fat, three demerara sugar, Original hot chocolate and a skinny cranberry and orange muffin....mmm..mmmm nom nom nom in my belly ! BUT.....SAC LE BLEUR.......ZUT ALOR (this is just about all the french I know and I say it a lot)....Borders has gone...and with it Starbucks !!!!!! This left a dilema as to what I could do if I droppped Missy off..because sadly all there would be left to do would be buy a carpet or cut price sports socks...such is the choice of retail outlets on my local park....now to be fair there is a T K MAX but unlike the one that Katie shops in, she of http://www.whatkatiewore.com/ our local TKM does not sell Chloe or other such grand designer names......my local TKM is more like a rather large and badly lit charity shop full of no name brands and ployester...no that's never an option....

So instead I decided to simply park up, go straight into NEXT, return my goods, buy some tights and drive to sainsbury's and treat myself to something warm, doughy and gooey from the bakery section...remember that was the plan...however all of that changed in an instant the minute I walked into NEXT.......VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!! now I hadn't thought about it at all how or even if it would affect me......but the minute I walked into that shop I was bombarded with images of fluffy love.....romantic red and pink presents....and at that moment the lump that sits just below by decollate rose up my throat like a geyser blowing it's load and a big fat tear trickled over my big fat hot cheek....the gravity of what is happening has finally sunk in....there will be no valentines day for me this year....and possibly ever..because I have no valentine...and suddenly everywhere I looked it was being thrust into my ever saddening face......all of a sudden I have been transported back to the lonely girl at school with no mysterious cards...."Be my valentine...love ?"

Clearly sticking my head under my soft fluffy pillow and pretending that's it's all a dream is not going to get me through this.......